Can’t Sleep.

Something many of my clients have in common: difficulty with sleep.

This tends to be so common that it is one of the first questions I ask about, pretty much already circling it on my checklist of symptoms they report having.

Sleep “issues” are not just “I cannot sleep.” It also could show up as: too much sleep, waking up many times overnight, not sleeping enough, irregular sleep schedule.

Why is sleep important though?

Sleep resets our system. It helps us stay well and healthy enough for our bodies to fight off colds, viruses, or stress.

We focus highly on sleep when our babies are young, always being told “sleep is important for development!” Somehow, that goes away from the mind as we get older and create new routines that do not prioritize sleep.

A little-known fact (that people actually typically judge instead of normalize): teenagers need just as much sleep as babies. Their brain is developing just like baby’s brains. Their bodies are working hard, and their brains are learning new things.

Another little-known fact: Eight hours is not the “perfect” amount of sleep for everyone. Each person needs a slightly different amount for what works best with their bodies.

So, how is this addressed in therapy, and why?

People often find themselves using sleep aids in therapy to reduce their thoughts disrupting their sleep, and to ease them into sleep.

I have some concerns about this.

Why did we suddenly stop trusting ourselves to do that for ourselves? For hundreds of years, I am sure there are people who use a variety of sleep aids to assist in the sleep process, but the question would remain the same for me hundreds of years ago.

Isn’t it worth exploring?

In order to start working on this, I always wait for some buy in. I never want to reduce anyone’s process that keeps them comfortable, while also pointing out it is okay to be a little uncomfortable.

So, when my client is ready, we start implementing and exploring.

I like to reiterate: implementing something is usually friendlier (to our brains and defense mechanisms) than removing something.

So, just to start: what if you started implementing something?

What if we added something into your usual routine? Just to start learning how to trust yourself?

First, I want you to examine your “pre-bedtime” routine.

What do you usually do? Is it different things each night? Do you do the same things in different steps? Do you switch it up depending on your mood?

Let’s start narrowing down that list of steps.

Identify five things you need or have to do before bed.

Put them in an order from 1-5 that makes sense to you most.

Then, start them 30 minutes before you want to lay down in bed and do them in the same exact order every single night.

Examples could be:

-brush my teeth, wash my face, put on pajamas, take out my jewelry, and read a book.

-take a shower, brush my teeth, take my medication, put on lotion, put on pajamas.

-read a book, brush my teeth, take out my contacts, wash my face, take my medication.

Why is this important?

Human brains love routine. They love knowing what to expect. And they love when things feel safe.

Routines feel safe.

Once your brain recognizes “Oh, this is what we do before bed,” it will naturally start winding down for the night too. The inner lights start to dim, certain areas of the brain will start to “clock out” for the night, and you might actually start to feel tired. Over time.

Again, this is what we do for babies! And it works! Why do we think it stopped working for us? It never stopped. We just did not prioritize it anymore.

Now, if that worked for you, or if you’re feeling adventurous…wouldn’t it be great to start trusting yourself more?

Reach out, let’s explore that together.