I’ll just wait...

Judgement free zone of the term “waiting.”

I have been a fan of waiting to do a lot of things:

-Once my kids get over being sick, I will start back at the gym.
-Once my schedule gets more flexible, I will start setting up my self-care appointments.
-Once life gets less busy, I will start cooking more/getting more protein & veggie intake.
-Once the holidays are over, I will ask my parent about their health.

But here’s the catch: there’s always going to be something.

Look, the term “avoidance” doesn’t sound great, and…that is probably what’s going on.

Taking that next step to be vulnerable and put yourself (or your emotions) out there is hard. Changing routines is hard. Mixing up the norm is hard.

I can totally validate that. And it’s always going to be hard.

You will always have a way to keep the waiting going.

Fear is valid. We avoid in order to prevent the fear.

But here’s the other catch: Avoidance doesn’t keep us from feeling fear. The fear is still there. Even while you’re avoiding. It’s just tucked under the rug (but the rug is in the middle of the room and there’s an obvious crinkle in the rug…and that rug is your fear).

-

“No, I am serious…the timing isn’t right.”

I know. And the timing will probably never be right.

“I will start therapy once I feel like I can manage my emotions better.”

Addressing problematic boundaries and unspoken topics in your relationships will not likely be easy anytime you decide to start doing it.

We cannot control the other people involved.

The fact that you want to do things but aren’t doing things (for potentially the sake of the other person) simply fuels the avoidance.

The most important thing here, is that you want change. And that’s enough for me to be convinced that it’s valid and honorable.

So, why wait? I want your unmanaged emotions, your scattered thoughts, and your limited ability to set boundaries.

Trust me, therapists don’t need you to be anywhere near “ready” to start therapy.

We most likely want to process with you about why the waiting keeps happening.

Let’s stop the process of fueling the fear. Let’s normalize being vulnerable. Let’s push past the barriers of avoidance.

Reach out, I’ll help.